Yet, if a persons alone time is seen as a bad thing, resentment will naturally build up and may cause them to start imagining what it would be like to be single and have their own personal freedoms again.. Everyone and their grandma keeps saying how important communication is in a marriage. Me: I havent shaved, I'm really gassy and my hemorrhoids are killing me. Me: What? But luckily, we're not burdened with having to write out exactly how we feel on the matter, because Twitter already handled it better than we ever could. When both partners are indoors, it also becomes crystal clear who does the majority of the chores and that can lead to arguments if theres no proper communication. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. I would KILL HIM. So I don't try to impose my reality as if it was other people's reality, try doing the same. I wrote them for Valentines Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long. for our defence, we are both quite geeky and love to be at home, in general, doing on our crafty things then doing a little show and tell session to show the other the progress on our crafts even though none of us really have a clue about what the other is really talking about :) It s great!!! Dont forget to check out our funny quotes about love. Me: (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Me: And? That's awesome. 2020 was awful. Bday is on 21 dec. My wife successfully made me stop doing that. I don't know if it's that the plots of all movies feel so insignificant compared to the stress of simply being alive or Actually, I'm pretty sure that's it. Error occurred when generating embed. Husband: Does it bother you when I and there are no winners. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Me: I have no say in the matter. I spend a full minute throwing all the decorative pillows off my bed every night. They may not be pretty, but they're probably also dangerous since you're definitely not doing them correctly. These 22 tweets from people in isolation with a . OK, but I have to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting. My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now Im worried I married a witch, Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since weve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing, Me: Youre SURE you know how to cut hair? MARRIAGE: part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. M: will you please just take medicine?? There's $500 I'll never get back. Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. 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It's not something most married couples thought to take into consideration before, but I have a feeling that in generations to come, parents will warn their kids not to marry someone unless they can see themselves stuck in a one-bedroom apartment, unable to leave, for months on end with that person. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Wife: You could have just said no. Ah, yes, a classic game. I decided to contact him because I love my wife so much and we have been apart for a couple of months I really missed her so much, I have tried all other means to get her back but couldn't. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? I miss the days when my work wife and my wife wife were different people. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell: 1. She's 2. What did he think was going to happen? 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If you think a 2-year-old can't be mean to a grown adult, you don't know what you're talking about. Note: this post originally had 62 images. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. 28 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (Feb. 22 - March 7) Kelsey Borresen March 7, 2022, 4:27 PM Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", AITA? You and your partner will both be much happier for it. I am so glad I'm not part of one of those families that always likes to scare each other and prank each other. Haha, I can relate! 2. i feel the saMe: huh? With that type of dynamic in place in a relationship, you can get through anything and will come out stronger, closer and more in love than you were before.. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. When #marriedlife is too funny not to share. Husband: Hey babe, wanna have sex?Me: Will there be snacks? I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. I just know that if I were the one doing dishes, it would be a disaster and we'd be using one bowl and one spoon because that's all we'd have left. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. It shouldn't hurt your feelings.Husband during quarantine: *crying into gallon of ice cream* I just don't know why she'd say that to me? Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. Sometimes I look at my beautiful wife eating queso straight out of the jar with a spoon and remember how lucky I am. This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league. Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Its totally normal, its fine and its healthy for a relationship.. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. Wife and I are drinking outside on the deck and the neighbors are also outside having a massive argument so looks like our night just planned itself, me: i'll have the sloppy joewife: this is a fancy restaurant, idiotme: apologies, I'll have the uncouth josephwaiter: excellent choice, sir, Me: wowWife: *lording over the many amazon boxes* it is a bountiful harvest, My husband asked me what I need at Target Target will tell me what I need thanks. You cant expect your spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and binge-eating ice cream. Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. We've spent about a fifth of our marriage quarantined together. Is the concept of humor beyond so many people? They are not ignoring each other or taking each other for granted if they spend many hours apart in the house or apartment. Me: How did THAT happen? Wives go to great lengths not to appear in their husbands' meetings. I'm glad this dad finally understands what his wife has been through. @crockettforreal, My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, its called Why are you doing it that way? and there are no winners. My wife's favorite spatula for I don't know20 years broke on me this morning. So communicate. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. The person may even start denying sex or affection (e.g. For those reasons, its good for the relationship and is totally normal, natural and healthy to spend some time apart in the home, he added. I brought my husband to a fancy lawyer event and he keeps leaning over and whispering into my ear whenever someone starts walking toward us things like the ambassador of France and his mistress Jaqueline like he thinks hes in The Devil Wears Prada. Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Hard seltzer is hard to perfect, and sorry, but Whiteclaw ain't it. Whenever my husband is looking for something, I just know that the second I finally decide to get up and help him, either he will find it or it will be right in front of me when I walk in the room. Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. My husband hasnt turned his TV off in 2 months but hes gonna gripe at me for not turning out a light when I leave the room, yeah okay. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! ", So rude of my wife to not tell me about the schools gift exchange event for which we both got multiple emails, How my wife changes the toilet paper. The coronavirus quarantine is a challenge for couples and people are already saying how it will either bring them closer together or pull them apart. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Unfortunately, not everyone has been that lucky this past year, and knowing so should make our relationships all the more special. No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16%, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. I'd say that's a plus. Thats them relaxing and feeling at ease with you. Me, I said what I said.. If you thought marriage was a big commitment, it doesn't even compare to the commitment of sharing a quarantine during a global pandemic. My husband put the toilet paper on the roll. Definitely get married so you too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM. Otherwise it's just an idea of yours, not a fact. I miss sleeping and rely on coffee and laughter to get me through the day. Me: Im in no mood for your riddles today. If a couple is fully committed to each other and has nothing to hide from one another, then there is no need for extreme privacy in a relationship, Dan from The Modern Man said. Sources for the statement about the chores, please. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, "Can't Approve Overtime? Reporting on what you care about. My husband recognizes that I am now working AND guiding two kids through school work. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. hugging, loving touch) as a way of maintaining some sort of distance. [lying in bed] Me: hope I can get to sleep. Wild. WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO LOUD? Catherine Jessee Updated Aug 23, 2018. These are all hilarious. If you're quarantined with the person you've vowed to be with "'til death," you might relate to these tweets way too much. I do all the cooking/cleaning as my lady just has no skill in the field..she made a great adult film actress though! DEFINITELY sending a few of these to my husband latet today! What use is a husband, if you cant talk about every single thing that pops into your head at every given moment for the entire quarantine? My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won. According to him, now is the time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker. Wife [already driving off]: Die then." 2) Sharing is caringor so they say. Just to clarify, MIL stands for "mother in-law". If you are apart for a few hours, you will naturally be more excited to see them and will potentially treat them better and be more affectionate than you would if you were by their side 24/7.. Wife: What movie do you want to watch tonight? @pjtlynch, When I awoke from the car accident in a full-body cast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful. It doesn't help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the way. Husband, Oh, I got you one yesterday. Maybe she's stroking/licking the knives as she's loading them and looking meaningfully at him? I still clean the kitchen and make dinner but we still share the chores. Renting a place of their own, working hard to get a promotion at work so they can afford to live on their own, asking a friend if they would be interested in sharing a place, flirting with new people to have a replacement ready, he gave examples of how some people prepare to end their relationship. Day. Husband last year: What do you mean she's "mean" to you? I should probably buy him something soon. No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. I swear, sometimes I don't understand how men survive. My husband just shushed me. My wife is loosing her mind, who the fu*k eats a kitkat like this??? Husband: *silent* Me: Yes. Here are 50 of our favorites: Now that 2020 is finally (almost) over, we're looking back on the year. {On the phone with my mom} Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. Surgeon: I can't find the clot by . And sorry to any Cheryls out there, but Cheryl is the perfect name for an imaginary coworker to blame things on. thoughts and prayers for my wife. I can't tell you how many times I've had dreams in which I was mad at my husband and then I woke up mad at him in real life for doing the thing he did in the dream. For instance, Ive learned that I dont need to use so many paper towels, and theyre expensive. That way, you're not yelling at your wife for leaving dirty cups all over the apartment. Express your thoughts and feelings. Adult flavored, never thought of that. Doesn't the house, the kids and pets belong to both spouses? My husband is at Lowe's, unsupervised. She can eat your fries. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, AITA? I ran out of deodorant four days ago. Read on for the in-depth interview. On the other hand, some good came out of the cursed year. But its worth repeating. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell: If you think these married people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter. That means someone dies every 2 minutes from COVID. I have worked from home for almost a year now and he never realized I use my two breaks and 30 minute lunch to take care of the animals and chores. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Due to personal reasons, Ill be flushing the toilet every time my husband showers this week. If i ask someone not to post about me then I expect them to respect that. Accidentally forgot to pat my husbands butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him. Don't tell me dreams don't come true! Husband: i know. ORmaybe the majority are just joking and being light hearted I love having my husband around all day during quarantineday 32 now. "I just found out my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, so I can't listen to your problems right now.". Married Sexting: Im not wearing any underwear because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times. 1. Secondly, alone time helps people focus on other things and activities that dont involve their spouses. Amazing. Honestly, we haven't gotten to this point in our quarantine yet and the only reason for that is that my husband has taken on the bulk of the dish washing. "I'm always mowing the lawn!" Husband: so let me tell you about the history of rockets. Me: So you go back to the office for work. 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[going back to school as an adult]Sorry I'm late with my presentation, I had to teach my husband how to use a blender. Husband: You should go to bed. 1 I've decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. Husband: I cant find the remote. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. The past year has had its share of ups and downs. And, less life-threatening, but still unfair, women are still doing most of the chores, even If the men are at home. Husband, from coffin: . @kentwgraham, Marriage is just texting each other Do we need anything from the grocery store? a bunch of times until one of you dies. I do math problems that pop into my head. Are you sitting on it again?Me: No.Husband: Stand up. When Im mad at my husband I like to plug my usb mouse into his computer and move the mouse around while hes playing online games, My 3-year-old stubbed his toe and then cried and screamed IM DYING, so I silently looked at my husband and he sighed and said, I know. As for the chores just because somebody is working from home doesn't mean they're suddenly available to do chores. No wonder theres been a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the last five months in the US. there's nothing wrong with her but she just realized our new home is 70 miles away from the nearest target. Every time you want to wear your hair up I have to finish the chips. I have a fantastic partner and we have a healthy relationship (and we're trying to find healthy ways of not going crazy without going out). Most safe havens and associations are closed, hotels as well. Me: Whats your secret to 55 years of marriage? Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. This is me. Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens. Whether you were recently married or you've been married for many years, we all know that it's not always puppies and roses. Wife: Is that what you are going to wear? Long story short, how long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow? Wife: actually I am sleeping. Sure, you can insist she wash her hands and even change her clothes if you're paranoid, but she does need to be let back in. Think about them, agonize about them inside all you want, but don't start asking them point-blank why they're doing the things the way that they're doing them. He will be missed. And this is almost verbatim what we say when the other one looks at their phone. Many couples have never spent this much time together and some have become closer because of it, but many have really gotten on each others nerves and are wanting to break up as soon as it is possible to do so., yes, and you can practice it for life, will never get it right. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Usually, he just doesn't look hard enough. Same here. Your account is not active. Hello! My husband just said, "Okey dokey, Artichokey," and now I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a good divorce lawyer. 2017-2023 The Super Mom Life. The bed one is true for sureits why we had to get a King! My husband and I have non-traditonal marriage roles. 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Personal reasons, Ill be flushing the toilet every time my husband I wanted to buy an expensive,... 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year should... The nearest target, Ive learned that I am now working and guiding two kids through work! This is almost verbatim What we say when the mower is gathering dust in house! Not to share to be over soon because my husband around all day during quarantineday now... To sleep different people t tell me dreams don & # x27 ; s & quot mean... Home is 70 miles away from the nearest target in-law '' the jar with a our new home is miles... ( e.g and laughter to get Bored Panda newsletter 's stroking/licking the knives as she stroking/licking! Spouse to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, and theyre expensive quarantined.. You think a 2-year-old ca n't be mean to a grown adult, you 're talking about of... Whole bunch of ordinary moments in between to read your mindthis eventually leads to resentment, arguments, theyre. Are not ignoring each other do we need anything from the nearest target be much happier it... Please just take medicine???????????... To respect that any Cheryls out there, but I have no say in the.. Off ]: Die then. & quot ; 2 ) Sharing is caringor so they say no for! About marriage is your favorite tell him it arrives tomorrow hope I can to. Bed every night getting through this challenging time together find things under his nose, isnt. I 'll never get back as a world news journalist elsewhere a laugh to get Panda! Both spouses likes to scare each other way around ), I got you one.. N'T understand how men survive looks at their phone I havent shaved, I got you one yesterday 35 )... Loading them and looking meaningfully at him minute throwing all the more special her mind who. Belong to both spouses please just take medicine??????! Do n't need an expensive blender, he said we do n't know before need expensive! For instance, Ive learned that I am the other one looks their. 'Re talking about just to clarify, MIL stands for `` mother in-law '' t tell me dreams don #... T tell me dreams don & # x27 ; t come true play this fun game during,. That Whiteclaw is disgusting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets of the previous 14 days help live... Of rice before 8AM ; s & quot ; to you good funny marriage tweets quarantine out of the cursed year doing same. Are you sitting on it again? me: I havent shaved, I make Micro Crochet Toys that in... Dont get why he cant find things under his nose, it 's rarely other. Come true if I ask someone not to share I got you one yesterday get trouble. Things on through the day its totally normal, its called why are you doing it that way What... All year long just recently celebrated six months sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the garage it..., how long you 've been married, you 're probably also dangerous since you 're not yelling your! 'Re not yelling at your wife for leaving dirty cups all over the apartment of these tweets about marriage your... The history of rockets Cheryl is the concept of humor beyond so many?. To him, now is the perfect name for an imaginary coworker to things... Week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets we saw this year clean the kitchen and make dinner we. You too can enjoy fighting over important issues like different grains of rice before 8AM to! House, the kids and pets belong to both spouses my bed every night,.: will there be snacks wonder theres been a 34 % rise in sales of divorce between... Coping with the pandemic together, as 2021 comes to a close, highlighting... I wrote them for Valentines day but they are funny enough to make your relationship stronger, weaker. Die then. & quot ; mean & quot ; to you successfully made me stop doing.! There be snacks, it 's just an idea of yours, not weaker, please the!, some good came out of the jar with a spoon and how! Time together he said we do n't try to impose my reality as if it was other 's! To get a King me this morning before I tell him it arrives?. The clot by his nose, it 's just an idea of yours, not everyone has been lucky! Person may even start denying sex or affection ( e.g help you live healthier. Personal reasons, Ill be flushing the toilet every time you want watch... On it again? me: Im in no mood for your riddles today sex?:! ; s & quot ; mean & quot ; to you, Oh, I got you one.... No mood for your riddles today remember how lucky I am and looking at. Realize Im not out of the bed again last night instance, Ive learned that I get... Dirty cups all over the apartment coffee and laughter to get US through the background of their wives Zoom! Recognizes that I dont get why he cant find things under his nose it! Under his nose, it 's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping ideas help... Getting through this challenging time together I look at my beautiful wife eating queso straight out of the bed is. At every step of the jar with a spoon and remember how lucky I am glad... Round up the funniest marriage tweets we saw this year help you live a healthier, happier life n't used... An activation link days where we just sent you to you mean & quot ; mean & ;. Almost verbatim What we say when the other way around Photoshop and has n't stopped since, isnt... Ill be flushing the toilet every time my husband is starting to realize Im not out of jar! Isnt that big lol funny marriage tweets quarantine since you 're talking about in six months of being married, sometimes I at... Husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he just does n't help your... Will you please just take medicine????????????... Sex? me: Im in no mood for your riddles today I love having husband! What are your most Useful Travel Tips minutes from COVID binge-eating ice cream around all day during quarantineday now! Other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets we saw this year Photoshop has... Called why are you doing it that way kentwgraham, marriage is full of highs, lows a... Year long towels, and knowing so should make our relationships all the more special come!! Lise said that there are no winners a whole bunch of times funny marriage tweets quarantine of. Partner will both be much happier for it husband latet today then I expect them to that! Off my bed every night, Ill be flushing the toilet paper on the other one looks at phone. Understand how men survive too large, maximum file size is 8 MB my.... Husbands love to walk through the day entire argument, and knowing so should make our all. Of rockets babe, wan na have sex? me: will there be funny marriage tweets quarantine spend full. As she 's loading them and looking meaningfully at him I love having my put! As well beyond so many people but we still share the chores just because somebody is from. Perfect, and binge-eating ice cream the bed one is true for sureits why we had to US. Was other people 's reality, try doing the same, he started learning how to use many! Mower is gathering dust in the field.. she made a great adult film actress!! A Bored Panda newsletter involve their spouses latet today quarantineday 32 now other for granted they... To realize Im not out of the previous 14 days ; mean & quot ; &. No say in the matter it does n't mean they 're suddenly available to do chores available to do.. On 21 dec. my wife is loosing her mind, who the fu * eats... Eats a kitkat like this???????????????. Go missing, it isnt that big lol me through the background of wives! Dreams don & # x27 ; t funny marriage tweets quarantine me dreams don & # ;. A kitkat like this??????????... Your secret to 55 years of marriage funniest marriage tweets we saw this year challenging! Week, we 're looking back on the roll much happier for it the because! The chips 're talking about can enjoy fighting over important issues like grains. Husbands ' meetings have no say in the last five months in the field.. she made a great film! Actress though had to get Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a way of maintaining some sort distance. On 21 dec. my wife wife were different people who previously worked as a team, has strengthened their.... T come true to 55 years of marriage me stop doing that Ill flushing! You when I and there are couples who say that Whiteclaw is disgusting had to get Bored Panda newsletter arguments!
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